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A Novel Staff Appraisal System

Performance Factors

  • Far Exceeds Requirements
  • Exceeds Requirements
  • Meets Requirements
  • Under Requirements
  • Fails to meet Requirements


  • Leaps tall buildings with a single bound
  • Needs a running start to leap tall buildings
  • Leaps tall buildings so long as they have no spires
  • Crashes into buildings when attempting to leap them
  • Doesn't know what a buildings is so no chance of leaping any
    • Timeliness

      • Is faster than a speeding bullet
      • Is as fast as a speeding bullet
      • Not as fast as a speeding bullet
      • Are there such things as slow bullets?
      • Keep well away from bullets - is likely to wound himself


    • Is stronger than a locomotive
    • Is stronger than a bull elephant
    • Is stronger than a bull
    • Would probably shoot the bull
    • Usually smells like a bull


    • Regularly walks on water
    • Can walk on water in emergencies
    • Can swim in water
    • Would drown in water
    • Tends to pass water in emergencies


    • Talks with god
    • Talks with angels
    • Talks to himself
    • Argues with himself
    • Loses those arguments